Over the past weeks lessons.

Well, I am happy to be sat listening to Spotify, eating pasta and thinking about the past week or so and what I can take away from it – its been a hectic week or so (or at least it’s felt like one!) So I’m just gonna do a weeks worth all in one go!

Don’t be jealous when you don’t know if you need to be jealous –
Me, myself wouldn’t say I was the most confident person In the world, so when I heard at work we (yes, we work together) were getting a new receptionist, I panicked a bit, but when we’ve actually met her – I know I was just over reacting, so this lesson, is to not be jealous when you don’t need to.

Make time!
My partners life is a lot busier than mine, he’s so much more proactive! So without him realising sometimes we just dont get to see each other for a few days, but I’ve just started telling him when he’s booked for some time with me. Sunday lunch😘
Just an hour 😍

100 Lessons xx

100 Lessons x

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Update on lessons :)

Day two – Be organised.

I must say, normally I am quite organised, but on Halloween. Oh my. I got myself so worked up because I wasn’t organised, had nothing to wear and had no time to prepare. I managed to get something sorted but wow was I in a mad frenzy!

Day 3 – Drink responsibly.

So, although I had an absolutely fantastic night, the next day I did not feel quite as fantastic. – always have a pint of water and something sustainable before bed!! Even if you do roll In at 5:30AM.

Day 4 – Sometimes people need forgiving.

So I’ve currently learnt that everyone does something wrong to someone, and there is either a choice to stay mad and lose a friend, or to let it go and notice the people that are there for you. I stopped being friends with one of my best friends after a trip to Ibiza last year, we didn’t end the holiday on good terms and hadn’t spoken for a year. We are currently rebuilding our friendship.

Day 5 – be wise with your money.

It’s the day before the day before payday – and I have just had to put a grand total of 3.50 into the car just to make sure that I can get to work and back tomorrow before I can fill the car up again..
Handing over that much change – although slightly embarrassing has learnt me this lesson. So, tomorrow I am going to write myself out a financial plan for the month a see how I go. Have literally no money really makes you think how much you are worth as a person( I do know that this isn’t the case, I’m just thinking from my own mind)

100 Lessons x

New job, new man, same me!

(1)let me start by first just saying, oh my God.
What an absolute whirl wind on 6 weeks..
So its been six days today since I started my new job working in a hotel as a receptionist, and oh boy, has my life changed!
Continue reading

Depression and Life.

Its not easy, some days might be better than others, but even those days aren’t easy.

Life is a battle that happens every single day. Every single day there is a reason to carry on, and a reason to give up. Some days, the bad just stands out so much more obvious, life is hard.

I know that depression is a chemical imbalancement and it cant be helped (minus meds ect, but for the sake of this blog we’ll just write them off) but i also read that it can be hereditary. My “mother” also suffers with depression, so it is only her in my family that I am aware of that has it. I hate my mother anyway, and before you start with the ‘oh its your mu, you only get one’ rubbish, she is awful. Im still waiting for my birthday cards, a phone call, a text, anything from her for a good few years now.

For some reason I always seem to find a ‘new’ mum, someones adopts me, or I just get mothered to the end of the world. Even my adoptive mother has now given up on me, I have no mother, I dont think i have a boyfriend anymore. I am back to being all on my own and fighting this daily battle by my self. I dont think the people that have left me have understood what I am going through.

I have built a wall.

A wall that no one can get in, you have more chance to find out more about me before we get together, before we get close, and i dont know why.

My ‘boyfriend’ told me to go to therapy after an arguement we had on holiday, after we talked the next day we had a look online and thought that maybe I have bipolar, all of the symptoms fit.

I am waiting until december for my appointment.

I just want to know what is wrong with me. Why does my life seem so much harder than everyone elses, why does my life feel impossible sometimes.

It takes over.

image

So here I am, scouting through the same things all over Facebook, someones baby, someones pet going missing, someone hates mornings,  someone needs a lift somewhere – but is willing to pay petrol money.

Same thing every day.

But then, I came across this picture that I have attached. & I must say that I have just had a little cry thinking about how depression can take over your life, and your daily tasks that are normally easy become almost impossible – mainly because getting out of bed is awful.

I recently got haunted by my depression, thank god I have been willing to shake it off.
I highly recommend a SAD light for anyone who is suffering this winter.

Roads take you places.

Ever had that feeling when you go down a road, and it takes you somewhere in your mind? An old house? An ex’s house? An old family member?

I hate it when that happens.

For that short moment every feeling of hurt and upset you went through is suddenly resurfacing into your current day.
It’s like the memories do literally haunt you, daily, weekly, monthly.

I used to live In a flat with my ex, lovely flat, bit cold, but if I could of had the heating on it wouldn’t of mattered, now, everytime I go past it, I can’t help but look and with doing so become overcome with emotions, all that heart ache and tears that I went through in there.

I recently just took a trip to see my grandmother in withernsea. Near where she lives, on the route, of course. I passed one of the houses that my mother uses to live in with my sister and I couldn’t help but look.

The mind works in awful ways, memories haunt, and nightmares live.

5 ways to help with depression.

Life, in my opinion is all about chances. Second chances.
Third chances.
As many chances as You need.
Yes, I’m talking about you.

You are the only person who is totally dependant on you, you are the only person that is going to be left if you fuck up.

You are your last chance to make yourself feel better.
Now, don’t get me wrong, life is hard.

But, life is also worth it.
Watch for colours being brighter, watch for the sun shining more, the stars having an extra shine in their night time duties.

If you only have one life in this world, then take a deep breath, look around and see the beauty that is naturally there. You are so lucky to have what you have, even if you have nothing, at least you have your life.

At the start of this year I decided to change my life.

POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE.

I belive that when you’re happy, the world is a happier place to be in..

So, just because I finally have a day off from work (don’t get me wrong, I love my job!) I’ve decided to think of a few simple steps to help make you happy.

1. Don’t think I’m being rude, but how is your personal hygiene?
Had a shower this morning? Brushed your teeth? Go and hop In the shower if you haven’t already, come out smelling like soap!

2. Maintain yourself.
Have a shave, both guys and girls.. Go and get your eye brows waxed if it’s been a few weeks, or if you’re like me before I started doing mine and just made sure that I didn’t have a monobrow, then just get rid of that..

3. Moisturise!
Come on, your skin is the largest organ your body has, and you can see how it’s damaged. Moistourising is one of the best things you can do to it – and it smells awesome.

4. Carbs!
What you eat plays a massive part in how your body runs, and the dreaded ‘seratonin’ levels in your body which you can change with simple food changes when you need to. Try not to eat so much sugar, cakes, sweets, all that sort of stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I love a slab of chocolate cake on an afternoon, but I wouldn’t advise eating a full cake everyday. Try blueberries, blueberries are amazing to help with depression. I know, they aren’t quite the same. But just trust me on this one.

5. 100 happy days.
I did the 100 happy day challenge at the start of the year, and I think it’s amazing.
here’s the link for the website!

http://100happydays.com
If you have a problem with depression, I really would advise this!