As I lay back in my fathers house, the same one that he got once my mother and father broke up I have to give a thought to my life, and then I thought about how long I have been on this earth and the things that people around me have gone through.
the past 2/3 years have been hard..
& then I thought that the past is the past, even though it haunts my sleep and sits on my shoulders at every opportunity I have to remember that the only reason it’s there is because it has made me who I am.
I try to look at the things that have happened in a positive way now. I did everything I could. I have no doubt in my mind that I did.
The past 6 months of my life have been where I have really turned my life around – and for the better.
The relationship that i were in had it’s good moments, but it had more fights. Arguing. Cheating. Hitting. Fighting. Days of hurtfulness. Name calling. Belittling & don’t think that it was all one sided, I gave as much as I took.
I went from needing to escape reality to cope and then the one person I relied on wasn’t there when I needed him.
Since then I see how many people care about me, how much time my friends have & how much my father loves me.
I now see the good in my life, not who wasn’t there for me, but who was.
I have also found myself daily stuck in my sketchbook with pencils in my hand, or today i used oil paints for the first time.
I’ve almost booked a holiday with my best friend.
I’ve almost got a promotion that I’ve been counting on for years.
I can feel myself going from strength to strength and having more belief in myself than Ive ever had.
I have things to look forward to, and things to look back at, but all I want to do is wake up in the morning so I can live every day that little bit better than the day before. I want to smile a million times a day, and thank everyone for believing in myself when I didn’t.
I guess it takes something major in your life to realise what’s actually important, and what’s just noise..